So today Lola was poorly 😦 she’s actually been poorly for a couple of days. First of all her eyes went bad and we looked it up and it just said to apply cold water so we did. But the vets haven’t been open for over a month. I messaged and finally they were doing appointments. So we took her down. Before this she had also been sick a few times so we were quite worried. Now 1. There have been people saying the Chinese are planting poison for dogs and I already know in some provinces they are killing dogs “to stop the virus”, honestly the misinformation here is actually baffling. 2. The vet told us that the disinfectant (which has been sprayed, Everywhere)is affecting dogs all over. It’s sprayed 3 times a day all over our plot, on grass and pavement. And every hour in the elevator and our hallway. It’s burning her eyes and also making her sick. So they’ve given us some eye drops and medicine. Her eyes are looking better but they are still bloodshot. Now we have to get a taxi to the vet as it is too far to walk. It took so long to get one because everyone looked panicked that we had a dog. People were freaking out. It’s so ridiculous. People shouting at you. Pointing. Staring. It makes me so angry how they treat animals in this country. Our local vegetable store has a cat they keep chained to some stairs. It’s so cruel. And there is nothing we can do. But it’s why we rescued ours. Anyway the good news is she has seemed a little bit more like herself now. And she loved being able to actually leave our little plot. Being trapped in here isn’t for her! But she does love having us around 24/7.

We’ve decided Zeus is going to get the snip next month. He’s just decided he has to spray everything to show he’s the boss. Well, not for long.

Today has been a better today. Few shops were open. And it was pancake day! So we made pancakes.. Well Emily did. And. Y. U. M. M. Y. They were tasty. And I made a beef and tomato stew.. Oh lovely warm winter meals.

We could potentially be going back to work in the next 1-4 weeks. It’s hard to know. Some teachers are still out of the country and with prime ministers and presidents advising not to return they are reluctant to come back for obvious reasons. So we will see when we are going back, soon hopefully.

Emily is engulfed in her Greys Anatomy. I’ve eaten my own bodyweight in brownies from yesterday. I honestly may have to be rolled to the gym when it reopens. But to be honest I’m trying not to think about that too much. I’m doing things which I enjoy. Eating and cooking. I can’t exercise properly but at the end of the day there is nothing I can do about it so why beat myself up? I will get back to the gym and if I put on weight I put on weight. At the end of the day nobody is 100% fit year round. So I don’t need to make myself feel bad for letting myself go in a situation that I can’t control.

I’m being a little bit of a nerd. For those who don’t know I collect marvel and DC comics. Love star wars. Have a dragonball z tattoo. And own all Harry Potter movies. I’m just a bit of an overall nerd. So much so that I have a replica of the one ring in my drawer which I got from a trip to New Zealand with my best friend Lauren. Hobbit on is amazing by the way. If you haven’t been. Go. We’ll I’ve just been watching star wars. Playing star wars on PlayStation. Watching dragonball z. And tomorrow is lord of the rings. Going full on geek mode.

Anywho. This is a fairly short one. As you can probably tell I’m in much better spirits and trying a new outlook. Hopefully things continue to improve.

Also I got myself a lakers training top. Because why not.

Zac

X

So it’s been a while since I’ve written. Sorry if anyone was worried again. Truth is it’s getting harder and harder to write because my mindset just isn’t great.

Well the coronavirus numbers in China are slowly declining which is good. There are still new cases but a lot less. Hopefully some normality will begin to follow.

So what’s new. Well, our dogs now don’t sleep in the bed. Hahaha. Poor Emily had the dogs sleeping in the room for a long time and now we both finally have the bed to ourselves. But our door is always scratched but this is new to them. We have taken to late night strolls around our plot because it’s so quiet that we can let Lola and Bella off the lead. Chinese people are still freaking out over dogs because they think they carry the virus, WHICH THEY DO NOT. My god there are some superstitious people here. Like Bat’s making you see better.. Sorry what? Also we are fairly sure Lola is close to getting her period.. And we are NOT prepared and still not enough places open to prepare for it. So hopefully no bleeding until the shops open!

The cat is still being a dick! He’s now no longer allowed in any bedrooms. But he’s also super cute. He loves being cuddled. And him and Bella are honestly so cute playing together.

Our online classes are moving on to live classes! So we can see all our students live. Which is gunna be crazy. The government are putting together a plan for going back to work in our province. This is GREAT news. But even if we go back to work it’s still going to be temperatures being tested every day. Some places here are not allowing you out more than twice a day still, or only allowed out every two days. I’ve also chosen the book I’m doing for my reading and writing English class. The hunger games! Never read it. Or seen the movies. So we will see how that goes because reading the book will give me something to do.

Today some new pre-workout arrived. And I decided to try some late evening before a home workout. And well to give you an idea my brain is still wired and it is currently half past 1. And I feel like a race car driver going 100mph! So here I am writing at half past 1!

I’m waiting on a parcel from home which is exciting. They’ve ran out of masks here and we’re running low. We aren’t allowed out without a mask.. Yet cannot buy a mask anywhere?! So that’s cool.

I managed to get to watch some rugby which is a real blessing. Really has helped. That and having the VPN back so I don’t just hear chinese 24/7.

I honestly miss so much stuff about the UK. My friends, my family, food. I have always missed these things. However it is intensified by the fact that we have zero topics to talk about. I love Emily. With all my heart. So much. But it is tough when every day is the same to have continuous conversations haha. On the plus side I have managed to order Emily some presents. However my taste doesn’t always match up. I had to show her two pairs of trainers to try on and well they fit.. But she HATED them. Haha. So I have some things for her birthday which she can open on her birthday. But I’m taking her trainer shopping the day before haha.

Anyway I’m gunna try sleep now.

Here’s some cute pet pics

Zac

X

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So over 100 people died overnight and the mortality rate is curre tky at 13 percent.

Now that’s out of the way. I’ve had a slightly more positive day. My energy has still been very tired and exhausted but I have felt a bit better in myself. We went out today to go to the supermarket. Still nothing new in terms of what’s open.

One thing I have seen is that all of China is just believing what the government is telling them. We are kept up to date by one of the investors in the school. He relays to us what he hears. Now I understand he tries to keep everyone calm but for eyerone else, we know better and can see videos of police abusing people, that chinese people have spoken out about more people dying before being taken by the government. So we have to take everything he says with a pinch of salt.

One thing I want to stress. Is be kind. I was offline for so long and I’m touched by how many people have checked in, were reading my blog and checked that I was okay when they hadn’t heard from me or read my blog. Coming back online, seen what happened to Caroline Flack, recently the anniversary of my adopted brothers suicide. Social media has made it easier and easier to abuse people. I read so many statuses about being kind and checking in on people, but then they make jokes at others expense, on twitter some guy posted a statistic on suicidal teen rates, then decided to rip someone for having a sex change and name calling them. This isn’t a two way street. You can’t have it both ways. It is simple. Be kind. Since I’ve been in China I have been talking to a few people back home and other places who are struggling with their mental health. Some people seem okay and when you ask twice you found out it isn’t the case. You never know what’s happening in anyone’s lives, and just because you’re struggling someone else may be to. And a problem shared is a problem halved. I worked for a mental health charity, and I’m surprised none of them who I considered friends have checked in on my mental health or just asked how I am since I’ve been here after opening up about my mental health. But it is what it is.

Been mentally preparing ourselves for a possibility of being in isolation until May. It’s been hard but we are getting there.

Emily made a chocolate banana cake today. And oh my god. I ate 3/4 of it and I’m splurged over the sofa currently. In need of being rolled to bed. I made a prawn chilli spaghetti yesterday which was incredibly simple but veeeery tasty!

I’ve managed to order some presents for Emily for her birthday now I’m just hoping they are delivered okay because of what’s happening and that shops or restaurants will be open again by the time it’s her birthday.

There aren’t too many updates really. We’re both feeling a little down, Emily more feeling sorry for herself and I’m exhausted. We’re standing by each other and helping each other through.

To everyone who has dropped me a message, you have no idea how much I appreciate it even if it is just a little message.

Zac

X

Woah! Long time no see. Sorry for not posting but I was taken by the government!

Just kidding. But the government did take down all of the VPN’s which means until literally about an hour ago there was no access to the outside world! At all. So what I miss? Got some catching up to do.

Anyway what have you guys missed here.. Well there’s over 2000 dead now. So that happened. But this morning one of the Starbucks opened back up so I treated myself to a macha green tea and chocolate muffin.

If I’m honest this blog has been giving me the motivation to do things in the day so I have something to write about. Without it I was pretty much stuck in bed and eating cookies all the time! Emily has been making chocolate cookies and shortbread. Oh my god they are amazing. And I may or may not have almost given myself diabetes from having too many.. Oops. But all jokes aside it has been pretty rough. I haven’t felt like myself. I let myself go and I’m torn between its ok to be struggling now and I’ve let myself down.

I’ve always prided myself on being tough through everything. And it’s too much to go into detail in one blog what I’ve been through but, my personal mental health has been a real battle. From not attending school through most of year 11, 12 and 13. Self-harming and my mum finding out and picking me up numerous times from school. Taking overdoses. Having severe panic attacks. Being paralysed and going crazy about being trapped in a useless body. It seems trivial that I’m struggling so much after conquering so much. I barely drank any water for days. Getting headaches. Feeling crap. Hearing the schools could be shut til May was a real hard one to take. It’s been awful. And I hate putting all this on Em. It’s a lot to handle. I’ve been cut off from friends I’d usually message. And even then it kind of seems trivial that so much pain is coming from being trapped in isolation. I struggle getting up before 1 or 2 o clock. And even then find myself back in bed throughout the day. Every little thing gets on my nerves, clanging on plates to chewing or hearing the neighbours talking. I’m not exaggerating, I wish I were, it really is this hard.

But the VPN is (hopefully) back up for a while. And honestly it just proves how much we rely on technology. Staying in touch with family and friends in this situation really does stop me from going insane. Not just that but also being able to put my thoughts down on here. Really is cathartic.

Anyway. What have you guys missed? Well I’m cracking on with online lessons. Although out of about roughly 100 students about 4 have done the work. None of them want to go near it. I don’t blame them I’m going mad, although it’s a damn site harder not being able to speak Chinese.

Emily’s birthday is roughly two weeks ago and I was hoping to go to some shops to get presents but they still aren’t open. And still no gym!

However the delivery service seems to be up and running again which is a plus sign!

During this rough period I also shaved off my hair! Mainly because I needed a haircut and all the hairdressers were (and still are shut) but it was pretty much the only the I could control. So yeah that’s gone. And yes before you say it I’ve already had, he looks like an egg. Potato head. And baldy. Yes I’ve had them all.

The dogs are blissfully unaware. They are just loving having us around 24/7. They get extra attention! The cat hasn’t really noticed any change to be honest. He’s still a dick. But the moments of affection he does wish to share are appreciated.

What else..

Cooking wise I made probably the best stew of my life yesterday. Cooking & the animals have honestly kept me sane (aside from Emily but we have both admitted spending this much time together when not on a holiday is a struggle going from Thailand to this). The stew was a beef, carrot, mushroom, potato, leek and onion stew. It was delicious. I used a home made beef stock and half a bottle of red. And seasoned with some herbs during the long cook! Really warms your heart during these long winters. I feel like I’m in the winter of game of thrones over here!

I don’t want it to come across like its all doom and gloom. Although I ambpretty sure I have an ulcer in my stomach (thanks crohns) with pain and super bad acid reflux currently. But hey I have my hair.. Oh wait. Well at least I can gym.. Oh wait. I’m seriously lucky I have the animals and Em. They truly give me something to strive for.

So much has happened I’m currently scanning my head for information. I’m not looking forward to going back to work it’s going to be a heck of a change in mindset.

The death rate here is currently 12 percent. 52 ish thousand currently have the virus without an outcome (either death or cured) so going off that we may see another 6000 dead but we’ll see I guess.

On the plus side I think I have found a real love for cooking. It honestly calms me for the small portions of the day I’m cooking. I’ve been watching a lot of Gordon Ramsey and also a lot of performance based chefs for rugby clubs. I’ve also noticed Max Lahiff of the Bristol Bears has some awesome recipes! And I’ve tried replicating a fair few of his and jotted down a lot of tips of his. Makes me realise how much I miss rugby. Being paralysed once is definitely enough though. If he somehow miraculously reads this thanks for the recipes and keeping me from going completely off the scale with my mental health.

Umm so what else. I bought a new knife.. And almost cut my thumb off trimming fat off a lump of beef. As you can tell still a rookie to this cooking stuff.

Sorry if this all seems doom and gloom. Hopefully now I can focus a bit more and get back on the positivity train.

Thank you to everyone who has messaged asking if I’m okay. They’ve all just come through and I’ll be sure to reply to all of them.

Zac

X

P.s here’s a photo of what I look like now.

So you know the drill. 200 more dead and 20,000 more have been infected. This is due to China testing people more thoroughly. Funnily enough people don’t believe the death count already, but this also means it isn’t accurate as they are looking through old tests and checking for things they weren’t before. So patients who have died from cov-19 who were thought to have died from other causes haven’t been included.

I had a chat with a friend last night back in the UK. Haven’t spoken in a while, we used to play rugby together. And he was saying it looked as though it was being blown out of proportion in the UK. And yes. To be honest the UK have nothing to worry about. It’s affecting the old, very young, and people who have weakened respiratory systems, e.g have asthma etc. So the average person doesn’t really have much to worry about. W.H.O (Wolrd health organisation) have said that it is more contagious than SARS but it is more selective in terms of being deadly. Obviously healthy people will die. But the majority will be babies or toddlers. Or the very old. Or people with asthma. Hence me being so careful as I’m an asthmatic. And the amount of cases in the UK is minimal and being contained very well. So unless someone visits the sick in hospital or goes to an old people home or maternity ward, hopefully you should be OK. What I did say though was how people are scared of what the government is doing here. There is little to no compassion for the public here. People being welded in. Children being taken.prison sentences and death sentences being threatened. Hunting for bloggers who are spreading “fake news”. We now have to check in everywhere we go via our phones and they track our movements throughout the day seeing where we go. And even who we have contact with. That’s the most worrying thing.

So anyway Emily’s birthday is in March and as I’m sure you can imagine I want to do something special. But we have no idea when things will be open. We can’t order anything. Or go out for dinner. It’s just crap and I feel awful. So I’m gunna have to do some outside the boxing thinking me thinks. All ideas are welcome.

Probably the most exciting part of today. The brownies I made. My god! They were heavenly. Made a little different. I blended oats together until fluffy like flour. Added coco powder. 3 eggs. Jar of nuttela. Dark chocolate. Some smashed up oreos. And then put in the oven for 20 minutes at 180 degrees. Then served with vanilla ice-cream. Just heavenly.

On the plus side the weather has been warm enough to wear shorts! Which is crazy. Because it has literally been raining constantly and cold for so many days straight. I’m pretty sure my tan has just upped and left because it didn’t like the cold. Well we went out today and even though it was warm.. Ghost town. We went on the subway to the supermarket and we were the only ones there. Like literally nobody. Anywhere. So weird. I could have fainted on the floor and probably wouldn’t have been found for days haha.

Due to the lack of, motivation, things to do and just general life in China right now. There is no sort of routine so bed times have been at ridiculous times. And then waking up at normal time to let the dogs out. Well it kind of caught up with me and yesterday I didn’t do the workout. And today I slept in until 13.30. Yep that’s right. I’m a lazy git. Anyway now that I’ve caught up on my sleep hopefully I’ll go to bed at a more reasonable hour and do my workout before bed!

That’s all I’ve got for now.

Love Zac

X

P.s how gorgeous is Lola?

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So day 19 in the big brother house. I start my morning routine. What else but googling how many people died last night? Another 100. Up to 1113. Although there was a strange moment last night so weird I thought it was a dream. Well not so much weird as frightening. At about 1am I went to go to the toilet and heard shouting and screaming. So I look out my window to see two people in hazmat suits dragging a small child away. Nobody else there no parents or anything. It was horrible. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was dreaming. Then I questioned myself this morning. Did that really happen? Unfortunately yes. Honestly I’m not shocked. Hearing stories of families being welded inside their homes to stop the spread of the virus with no food. But I find it terrible how the Chinese government are treating their own citizens. And how little of this makes it to mainstream news! A terrible time indeed.

That also wasn’t the only crazy thing to happen early this morning. The cat being the wanker he is decided to piss and shit all over our bed! Now he’s usually really good but about once every 8 weeks he decides to just leave his mark. And by god did he. I was almost sick. It was vile. But being the hero I am. I left the door open as I was about to clean it and Lola came in and ate the poo. Dirty girl.

So today was the first online class! We can’t teach in person for obvious virus reasons. So the next best thing is filming ourselves. Now, I must say our English boss has done really well at getting everything organised for this and giving examples etc. I however was not prepared for the camera. Ignoring the fact I have a face for radio. You may have noticed my hair is somewhat thin. I’ve come to terms with the fact I will lose it. But until it needs to go it’s staying. However with all the hairdressers shut I have an untamed mop on my head. The top is still wispy and a little thin. But the back and sides are so thick I look like a monk let his hair grow out. And my beard is still looking like a wild prickly bush. But luckily I got the curdled milk out from yesterday.

We went for a few little extra bits at the shop today as we needed a new quilt because some dick pissed on and shat on ours (looking at you Zeus). He’s lucky he’s cute. The Chinese seem to have smaller trolleys and well let’s just say I’m not built for them.

And for those of you wondering yes I’m wearing trackies and sliders shopping. Comfort is a choice and I’m going with it. I can’t help getting the virus but I CAN help being comfy.

Now, onto dinner. My god I out did myself! I made some mahooosive meatballs and a kind of spaghetti carbonara. It was all kinds of delicious. And mouth watering. Honestly as I’m writing this I genuinely may go and get another meatball. They were the size of my fist. Anyway that is about all for now..

Going to try and fit a late home workout in before bed. Gett chubby.

Love Zac.

X

So I’ve decided to write another post today as it is day 18 today. I’m going to write these towards the end on the same day now rather than the morning after.

So! T-o-d-a-y. I got to have an extra nap in bed (thanks Emily) because yes I’m a grumpy old man. Now at the moment the morning routine is first thing, check Google to see how many people have died in your country and town etc etc. This is crazy. I never thought that I’d be getting up to Google how many people were dead. See if there were any deaths near me. Well surprise surprise the forecast is death with a slight overcast of death. I know I seek like I’m making light of the situation but to be honest I don’t know what else to do. 116 died overnight. The most yet. It is truly harrowing.

The bright side of this is that we are actually saving money. I mean we spent about £250 on shopping today. But that will last us about 2 weeks and the dogs also. So really not that bad. And we have nothing else to spend it on. We decided we were going to go to IKEA today because last week it was open. And China assure us things are getting better. We’ll we go to IKEA to find it is shut because of an outbreak close to there. I honestly don’t think we are close to this coming to an end. More places would be open but this is not the case. More and more places are closing and people are buying in stock for fear of not being able to obtain food. Luckily, we are well and truly STOCKED UP.

When we got back we put everything away and walked the dogs on our small plot about 4 or 5 times round running and playing. We’re trying to entertain them as much as possible because they must be as bored as us!

Dinner time!! Well. I must say this was a double edged sword. Because the dinner itself was one of my best yet. I made a chimichurri sauce, with steak and eggs. And my goodness it was glorious. Zeus himself would have applauded me. Here is a picture for reference.

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Now the only thing is.. After making the sauce a chili seed flew into my eye (I mean obviously not, it pinged off the board whilst I was using the knife) and by god it blinded me! It was horrible piercing and burning pain. But Emily was happy she had her meal. I on the otherhand was crying the the devil had spat in my eye. And well many things were tried to cool it down. First a cold wet flannel. Then a cold flannel soaked in milk (see photo).

But finally what actually worked was a big ass bowl of milk with my face in it for about 20 minutes.

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There isn’t much else to tell. Oh other than the fact that Emily hadn’t seen Bad Boys before! I know right?! Well for reasons I can’t quite remember we currently have no social life. Now she hates films with loads of guns etc (she hated John Wick, I know I know, how dare she) but she LOVED Bad Boys 2. Bad Boys Bad Boys, what ya gonna do, what ya gonna do when they come for you?

The big starve may sound like a joke but in actual fact is was quite accurate. We had rationed our food down to the last bit and after a holiday, this virus, things were running low. Now usually pay day is at mid day on the 10th. However, because of this virus (argh) the lay was delayed and didn’t go in until 5pm! Now with most things shut already we were both moody. Although some of us more so than others (looking at you Emily). Emily was so hangry I honestly thought that at one point she may just turn green, grow about 10 feet and start breaking shit and saying ‘Emily Smash’. Luckily I managed to keep my cool. Years of practice of working with toddlers had finally paid off. But finally food arrived in the form of a burger, a cake, chocolate, and a KFC. Do we seem fat? I assure you it’s not the case. In fact I’ve been eating so little I’m fairly sure that my boobs have disappeared.

Anyway, one thing you should know at our school there was someone, who shall remain nameless, who I no longer get on with. A bit of background, he is from South Africa and was struggling with adjusting to China, so myself and Emily took him for lunch a few times. Invited him to meals, took him to IKEA. We got on really well. Then one day we had a dinner party he wasn’t invited to. It was a couples party and with 6 of us, plus 2 dogs and a cat out house really couldn’t take anymore. We’ll he decided (at around 47 years old) that he was pissed off he didn’t get an invite (even though we explained) and state ignoring us. So we confronted him and he said he was still annoyed and started sending petty messages. Anyway we put it behind us and one night he went out with another teacher and had a few drinks (worth noting that to us he said he hated this teacher, called him a see you next Tuesday, said he was condescending, and said he was physically intimidating to him one time). During these drinks he had said that I called this other teacher and old perv (not true) and that he goes to bars for a lot younger women etc and that he is just an old drunk (also not true) in fact I get on with this other teacher. Anyway we get back to school and the air is tense. So I go talk to this other teacher and he tells me what was said and I tell him it’s completely false and say everything that was said about him from this other teacher. If it all seems a bit school-like that’s because it is. Anyway, we confront him and tell him how it is etc and not to bitch about people who are going to talk. He apologises and says to put it behind us but never has. Now, you see there must still be tension. Although he still works for the school, he’s at a different site. But still in the group chats as we are under one group. We have been told to educate the children about the virus, about health and hospitals and make it topical. However he took exception. To this and started debating with our bosses that this wasn’t the best course of action and he’d do his own thing. I suggested it would be better if we worked together but no of course not. Every man for himself. Now. To be honest, I kind of loved it, it’s the most entertainment I’ve had in ages. Especially when it doesn’t bother me anymore. But then he sent a message saying “OK thanks big boy”. Now I probably shouldn’t have risen to it. And I didn’t say anything that bad other than “okay big man”, but he is particularly big. But anyway it entertained me seeing him get put into his place saying we should do the same thing.

Yesterday I felt more like myself. I went for a walk with the dogs. I haven’t died (hazaa), the cough has gone. All in all a solid 5/10. It would be higher if I didn’t feel like a princess confined to her castle and the castle grounds waiting to be rescued.

My mental health has seen a steady incline. Mostly because of Emily. She’s been a constant and I love her. Although last night she would not let me sleep, (grumpy old man that I am). I cannot wait until she gets to 27 and finds out that you start getting tired at normal times! (unless sits just me). By the way I am writing this after day 17, now on day 18, so I can look back on it with a fresh perspective.

There wasn’t too much news on actual virus things. Although videos are now appearing of police being physical to people not wearing masks (in their own home!). That and bloggers have been arrested. Today (18th day in isolation) it has been confirmed 1016 are dead. It is exactly 1 month since the first death. It hS increased 1000 fold in a month. Which is really scary. And there’s a reddit thread which is predicting the amount dead correctly the next day every day. Claiming they know because China are hiding how bad it really is. Now usually I don’t show crazy tin hats the time of day. However seeing as they tried to cover it up to begin with it wouldn’t surprise me. Especially as they’re killing animals. Locking people indoors. Only letting them out every two days. Now it’s all well and good wearing masks etc. But if the majority of chinese people are still spitting and not washing hands, and smoking, taking their masks off all the time. It doesn’t make a difference what they put in place. That’s about it for yesterday. We’re about to go out and do some bits. Oh and one more thing I haven’t shaved in a month and I’m starting to look like Hagrid.

Ok so day 16, where to start. For starters I feel sorry for Emily. She has been emotional.. Probably because of me. No, definitely because of me. I’ve been ill with flu for almost a week then last night I got a cough and that was that. End of her rope. But she carried on like a soldier.. After crying that she couldn’t have a chocolate bar because of the circumstances. Poor girl.

Anyway on to other matters. We are seeing all over Guiyang that dogs are banned from going outside and ones which are going outside are often ending up dead. It’s been reported that a man has been breaking into houses to feed pets where people have been taken into quarantine. When people are taken they are not being allowed to contact anyone, so animals are dying. As there are no animal welfare laws in China it can be quite horrible. But we have chosen to stay because of our animals and we aren’t going to keep them locked inside. Lola was actually really sick the other day and they had been spreading something around.

Honestly I know this is a bad situation for all but it has surprised me with the manner China are making sure advice is followed. The death penalty is being threatened for those not wearing masks (even though the masks actually do nothing as it isn’t airborne). Also prison sentences for taking your dogs outside where it isn’t allowed. Because God forbid they go to the toilet. Bloggers have been taken into custody for spreading word online about what is actually happening in China. I think it honestly seems like China are trying to keep people quiet. There’s been messages saying pay will be suspended to foreign nationals if we are talking about the virus on wechat. Also brilliant.

I managed to get up and do some exercise which is probably the most I’ve managed in 3 weeks. . That is it really. Nothing to sing about.

We’ve been given two days to get some online content ready for our classes. Which isn’t ideal because today is pay day and we need to get resources for the videos, stock pile on food and other resources. And well that gives us a day. Which is ridiculous because we have our first class on Wednesday and we haven’t had any practice. Very short sighted from management and we should have had a plan in place sooner. But so far the plan is.. Teach them how to be hygienic in English. Brilliant. They have actually given us an app to access the books. However, with no tutorial video it’s impossible to access because you guessed it, it’s in Chinese.

It’s been a hard few days. I guess I should explain that I’ve suffered with severe anxiety and depression since I was about 14 years old. Being taken out for large parts of my school time. University. It wasn’t easy. But I had come through it, although it is always a battle. However this has challenged me to keep myself in a good head space. No structure, nothing to actually get up for. It’s been tough, and I’ve really struggled. To get any motivation, for anything. For days I was just in bed, admittedly I was ill but the only thing I got out of bed for was the bathroom. Emily, bless her, has never had to deal with mental health issues with any friends of family or herself so it isn’t easy on her but she has done a great job. Usually around this time of year, either me and my brother, or me and my mum etc will get together and have a walk up the hill or a dinner or drink because it is the anniversary of our adopted brothers death. It’s a very personal story and not something that needs to be touched on in massive detail here but it was hard not being near them, but add in the fact that my mental health here currently is not in a good state. It’s been a really tough time, feeling like I’m being weighed down constantly. Not feeling anything but numb or stressed out to the point of tears. But this is only my side and its not easy for Emily either, to see me like this and also be trapped in this situation.

As they are taking away people with temperatures of 37 we have been extra careful with me going out, because I would probably get taken away. But the 17th day is pay day and I really need to go out. Have some reason to do something. There is barely anywhere open but a change is scenery is a must. So I think risking it is probably worth it. But if I were taken they would take Emily too and our animals would have nobody. So it is a hard situation.

We’ve also decided we are going to bake. We haven’t had any decent food in so long. I want burgers. I want ice cream. I want brownies. Honest to god I would settle for a bourbon biscuit right now.

The six nations is on! Although the England Scotland game bores me so much I fell asleep. I mean it was 2 in the morning anyway. The France game was so much easier to watch. Free flowing rugby. You love to see it! It honestly makes me miss home. Here there is nothing right now. All I want to do is get in the gym and smash some weights and do something I know I enjoy. But there’s none of that now. I think that’s the hardest part for both of us. There’s nothing that we enjoy here right now. There’s no, we’ll this will be good.. It’s the same day in day. It doesn’t help me being ill either.

Anyway that’s about it. Going to put a couple of pictures at the end because why not.

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‘Time flies when you’re having fun.’ That may be true but time almost stands still in isolation. We’re on day 15 here and I would be lying if I said we weren’t getting a little weird.

Sitting next to each other all too often me and Emily will ask each other questions like, ‘if I were burnt all over my body with just my nose to recognise, would you be able to recognise me?’ bthwre are so many pointless questions one can endure until you feel like why you’re living with a toddler.

Today has been slow. So slow in fact that after being ill for the past few days I got out of bed and took the dog out for a wee. I know, aren’t I just the best fiancée helping out. Truth is on top of being ill I’m (and Emily to) struggling mentally. Having to do the same mundane things over and over again with very little contact from anyone anywhere. All the while the coronavirus is lurking behind bins, but also rats lurking behind bins the size of Bella. I mean they’re literally huge. I went up to a bin about a month ago thinking there was a cat or something stuck in the bin from the rustling and it was a rat. But it looked more like the rat from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles it was that big. I swear to god if Lola hadn’t scared it away it would have karate chopped me in the face. But I digress. The only creative outlet really is this. Very few friends check in, which is fair, I mean people have their own things going on and I respect that. But it’s a hard pill to take when you message people who don’t bother replying. But anyway.

I played on the ps4 for a little bit. I have recently taken up basketball (recently being about 7/8 months ago). Now I’m relatively sporty and take to things quite quickly but my god it is hard work. I played rugby for years but unfortunately after so many bad injuries I have retired (with the exception of sevens tournaments). I was left paralysed after a rugby accident unsure whether I’d walk again, but I returned to the pitch to play again, but aside from that, a broken knee, torn MCL, dislocated both shoulders multiple times, broken both middle fingers, arthritis in my shoulder, multiple concussions (too many to count), broken toes, broken shoulder. Reconstruction of my right shoulder, my knee and elbow have both had operations. So it was probably wise to call it a day to some extent. Anyway, I very much have an addictive personality so I find myself either not bothering with something or completely surrounding myself with something. Basketball has been the latter. And unfortunately For Emily (she also plays and played age grade for GBR and England) I spend most my spare time watching basketball highlights, games, reading about plays, trades, and the most recent news in the leagues. So I spend my time saying ‘babe come look at this’ or ‘babe did you know that..’ which has become a little tedious for Emily! Poor woman.

Emily also tried to make pancakes today.. Now Emily can cook well, but she has her limitations. Trying to make banana pancakes without weighing things was definitely a step too far. It tastes like a soggy sponge with flour. But bless her she tried and has been making me smile during my time of man flu.

On to the animals! More precisely Bella. I noticed that she actually has a lump at the top of her back / lower of her neck. Having had a feel of it, used Google, and taking into account she’s only 3 months, the most likely thing is that it’s a fatty tumour but because of the size I do want it checked out.. But of course we can’t do that because of this mother clucking (that’s right this blog is PG friendly) coronavirus.

There isn’t too much to update in terms of the virus really. 80 more dead.. Probably more as the government doesn’t want panic. Chinese are being told a cure is being worked on and it could come soon. But we know that actually it would take about a year to get one. The weird thing is all of our Chinese friends have stopped talking to us. And this happened right after the Chinese government sent out a message on wechat (wechat is like WhatsApp on steroids, they pay for everything, their rent, shopping, you can order food, message people, they have instram esque stories etc) saying that foreign nationals (ourselves and other foreigners working in China) have been talking too much on wechat about the virus. And that groups will be shut down, our wechat will be shut down and our lay suspended and take away as well as a time of ‘incarceration’ for spreading panic. Now this comes as no surprise after we found out that the doctor who discovered the virus was kept quiet by the police and threatened by the government. Again I’m not sure how much of this has made it to foreign shores so I’m sorry if this is regurgitated information. So it makes sense they wouldn’t want people talking about how bad it it has got to anyone else. The way they are ‘preventing’ the spread of the virus makes no sense either. They are making people where masks at all times, when it isn’t airborne, so that means unless someone touches, sneezes or coughs on you then you’re OK. Then they spray disinfectant all over the streets, out of like fire trucks. Again crazy when it’s transferred person to person. But anyway. It’s not all that surprising. The market in Wuhan was terrible yes, the conditions and the animals sold there. In Guiyang those animals aren’t sold here (with the exception of frogs and turtles) but the conditions are just as bad. Dead fish in a box left out on the floor next to frogs which are alive. Meat refrigerated. Partner this with the fact that Chinese people coug without covering their mouths, they spit in restaurants, in work, outside. It isn’t surprising a virus has spread this quickly.

Other than that I really don’t have too much more to add today. Day 15 has been boring and it’s almost 4, I may write something small later if something else happens but what are the chances.. Next to zero.