Day 16

Ok so day 16, where to start. For starters I feel sorry for Emily. She has been emotional.. Probably because of me. No, definitely because of me. I’ve been ill with flu for almost a week then last night I got a cough and that was that. End of her rope. But she carried on like a soldier.. After crying that she couldn’t have a chocolate bar because of the circumstances. Poor girl.

Anyway on to other matters. We are seeing all over Guiyang that dogs are banned from going outside and ones which are going outside are often ending up dead. It’s been reported that a man has been breaking into houses to feed pets where people have been taken into quarantine. When people are taken they are not being allowed to contact anyone, so animals are dying. As there are no animal welfare laws in China it can be quite horrible. But we have chosen to stay because of our animals and we aren’t going to keep them locked inside. Lola was actually really sick the other day and they had been spreading something around.

Honestly I know this is a bad situation for all but it has surprised me with the manner China are making sure advice is followed. The death penalty is being threatened for those not wearing masks (even though the masks actually do nothing as it isn’t airborne). Also prison sentences for taking your dogs outside where it isn’t allowed. Because God forbid they go to the toilet. Bloggers have been taken into custody for spreading word online about what is actually happening in China. I think it honestly seems like China are trying to keep people quiet. There’s been messages saying pay will be suspended to foreign nationals if we are talking about the virus on wechat. Also brilliant.

I managed to get up and do some exercise which is probably the most I’ve managed in 3 weeks. . That is it really. Nothing to sing about.

We’ve been given two days to get some online content ready for our classes. Which isn’t ideal because today is pay day and we need to get resources for the videos, stock pile on food and other resources. And well that gives us a day. Which is ridiculous because we have our first class on Wednesday and we haven’t had any practice. Very short sighted from management and we should have had a plan in place sooner. But so far the plan is.. Teach them how to be hygienic in English. Brilliant. They have actually given us an app to access the books. However, with no tutorial video it’s impossible to access because you guessed it, it’s in Chinese.

It’s been a hard few days. I guess I should explain that I’ve suffered with severe anxiety and depression since I was about 14 years old. Being taken out for large parts of my school time. University. It wasn’t easy. But I had come through it, although it is always a battle. However this has challenged me to keep myself in a good head space. No structure, nothing to actually get up for. It’s been tough, and I’ve really struggled. To get any motivation, for anything. For days I was just in bed, admittedly I was ill but the only thing I got out of bed for was the bathroom. Emily, bless her, has never had to deal with mental health issues with any friends of family or herself so it isn’t easy on her but she has done a great job. Usually around this time of year, either me and my brother, or me and my mum etc will get together and have a walk up the hill or a dinner or drink because it is the anniversary of our adopted brothers death. It’s a very personal story and not something that needs to be touched on in massive detail here but it was hard not being near them, but add in the fact that my mental health here currently is not in a good state. It’s been a really tough time, feeling like I’m being weighed down constantly. Not feeling anything but numb or stressed out to the point of tears. But this is only my side and its not easy for Emily either, to see me like this and also be trapped in this situation.

As they are taking away people with temperatures of 37 we have been extra careful with me going out, because I would probably get taken away. But the 17th day is pay day and I really need to go out. Have some reason to do something. There is barely anywhere open but a change is scenery is a must. So I think risking it is probably worth it. But if I were taken they would take Emily too and our animals would have nobody. So it is a hard situation.

We’ve also decided we are going to bake. We haven’t had any decent food in so long. I want burgers. I want ice cream. I want brownies. Honest to god I would settle for a bourbon biscuit right now.

The six nations is on! Although the England Scotland game bores me so much I fell asleep. I mean it was 2 in the morning anyway. The France game was so much easier to watch. Free flowing rugby. You love to see it! It honestly makes me miss home. Here there is nothing right now. All I want to do is get in the gym and smash some weights and do something I know I enjoy. But there’s none of that now. I think that’s the hardest part for both of us. There’s nothing that we enjoy here right now. There’s no, we’ll this will be good.. It’s the same day in day. It doesn’t help me being ill either.

Anyway that’s about it. Going to put a couple of pictures at the end because why not.

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