So I’ve spent the night here, and just getting ready for night 2.
Well, my body feels like it’s been ripped apart. My muscles feel like someone literally grabbed them and ripped them apart. Which apparently isn’t too far off the description.. My muscles went into a cramp state, but all over my body, head to toe and for 5 hours. Contracting but not releasing and I’ve never shouted in pain like it. It was my legs, arms, back, stomach, neck and face. Then for another 3 hours after on and off. And then again throughout the night. So effectively my muscles dropped a load of creatine and myoglobin my kidneys can’t deal with. So I’m now having my blood cleaned twice a day and have to stay on a saline drip 24/7.
I actually kinda underestimated the seriousness. I tried to check myself out, and was told in no uncertain terms, looking at my bloods if I leave I will go into renal failure. So I’m stuck here. It’s been the craziest experience. I’m not allowed to walk anywhere, not that my body is actually up to it anyway, because it will just dump more toxins in my blood my body can’t deal with. So I have to dilute it to a point where my kidneys can handle it which is going to take a week.
The other thing is this can become a problem going forward if not addressed properly and I gotta say I don’t wanna deal with this every month!
For anyone who takes the NHS for granted lemme tell you you’re so lucky! Having experienced this, there is no comparison. I’m next to a woman on her death bed bless her. She’s been given 24 hours. There’s no privacy. No showers, no soap for washing hands. No food or water. It’s unreal. Luckily for me I have a devoted partner bringing me everything I need.
The mental side is taking its toll. I’m really sensitive to sounds (I hate chewing and heavy breathing) and being in a bad mental state and having two neighbours, one on a death bed and one snoring 24/7 has really got me in a head spin.
But, it could be worse. Thanks for the few friends who have reached out, it’s really difficult and I appreciate all the kindness.
That’s it for now I’m going to try sleep. I haven’t slept in forever.